Something that got me really thinking.

Hey guys this is just something that really made me think. I'm not sure why....but it really did.
Just now I was talking to a friend that is away in st.johns for the summer and we are really tight and just out of the blue when I signed on msn sent me this:

Sometimes when i'm alone i cry
cause i am on my own.
The tears i cry are bitter and warm.
They flow with life but to take no form.
I cry because my heart is torn.
I find it difficult to carry on.
If i had an ear to confiding,
i would cry among my treasured friend,
But who do you know that stops
that long, to help another carry on.
The world moves so fast
and it would rather pass by.
Then to stop and see what makes
one cry, so painful and sad.
And sometimes ... i cry
And no one cares about why.

I quickly responded with a stupidly dumb thing to say "are you ok?" knowing there was going to be a long speail. But my gosh was I wrong. Nathan simply responded with a "would you stop for a friend that was crying and need a shoulder, or would you simply just walk on by and say forget about it" after that I kind of just sat and thought. I thought to myself.. "yeah ok Mal..you go along helping all these people with there problems and then someone helped you realize that you really need to learn to deal with your own problems and not just try to forget about them by helping other people out with theres." and then I really thought "did he need me and I didn't listen?!" so I ask him "Nathan so you need someone to confide in or something, because bud you know im here" and he quickly replies with a "Mal, I have been giving you hints for the last month that I seriously need some advice and you haven't been there, no ones been here" and I just kind of in shock say "wow..well im here now" and to be totally honest just a heads up..NEVER say that..it just dumb and dosen't help a bit. and to Nathan tells me his issue.. and its something that I can help with but I can't fix..something that no one can fix..just god..which is a miracle that I am saying because well if you know me..its just explainitory. So..I prayed..which is a not me at all. And here I am thinking..and I feel like i've been noooooo help to this kid..and it's not that I don't want to be its that hes pretty dang far away right now and theres no way to help. But you know his first message got to me thinking. and you know what I want you people to know this.

You don't need to cry alone, I'll be there. You are always welcome to confide in me..Burdens are lighter to carry when carried by two. Don't you ever ever say no one cares because I do. and I seriously mean that.
I'm not saying I have probably gone through anything your dealing with but I have gone through a heck of alot, trust me. I'll understand. Just don't hurt yourself by keeping it all inside your little box.. you need to tell someone. For real. I myself have done dumb things, made stupid dessions and screwed up really bad. I have been to the suicidal corner, i have been to the cutting station, I have been to the pretend your happy and just go along with it stage. and if you keep it all bottled up inside you own little box..you just get to hurting yourself more and more.

I don't know what to really think right now. Because I love my friends more then anything. And I really care and to get that message just opened my eyes and I was like hey..ive been trying to straighten myself out..but I shut everyone else out while doing it. and thats not good. So just know I'm here for you no matter what the situation might be.
you know my numbers,
you know my msn..
you have my facebook..
just message me.
anytime, and place.

Love you guys.
♥
Mal

p.s. I'm better a poems obviously then writing this kind of stuff.